Just came back home. Sitting, staring blankly, listlessly in my room.

Seriously, I don't know how much I can take this any longer. I have no aims, no goals and not much purpose, all I have to do is to excel in my studies, which again I have not managed to achieve. Supposed pals, buddies, friends of mine dont talk to me for ages, dont ask how I have been and they just call me and expect me to be there for them to settle their problems, to provide company, to be the shelter and to be a friend.

Sean just called me to go to a playground near his friend's house. He got like absoluts and all I guess. I will be lying if I said I am not tempted to go and let them booze kick in as temporary reprieve, even it is just for a while.

It's not the best way to get over matters, but I am clueless. Just like for goodness knows how many days and nights, I am clueless, really clueless.